From Content Overload to Parenting Breakthroughs with Randi Rubenstein

Course Lab: Randi Rubenstein Editor’s Notes: Please remove filler words like Uhm, uh, or repeated words. This section uses the “part 2” audio files for each speaker. [“Mirasee Abe.wav”]

[MX] Marie_Bossa_BB_instrumental_2_52.wav at full volume for 3 second break, and then ducks beneath the quote at a low volume. Abe [03:06] iteration and improvement, it doesn't have to be a challenge or a negative for your business model. In some cases, it could actually unlock possibilities for your business that you had never thought of before [03:20] [MX] Marie_Bossa_BB_instrumental_2_52.wav at full volume again for 2 seconds or so break, and then ducks beneath the introduction, very low. This section uses the “part 1” audio files for each speaker. Danny [00:10] Hello, and welcome to course lab, the show that teaches creators like you how to make better online courses. I'm Danny Eenie, the founder and CEO of mercy. And I'm here with my co host, APE crystal, the co founder of resume. Abe Hey there, Danny. Danny In each episode, of course lab, we showcase a course and creator who is doing something really interesting either with the architecture of their course or the business model behind it, or both. Today, we welcome Randy Rubenstein to the show. Randy is the founder of mastermind parenting, as well as the host of the long running mass. Excuse me, I'll say it again. Today, we welcome Randy Rubenstein to the show. Randy is the founder of mastermind parenting, as well as the host of the long running mastermind parenting podcast. Randy, thank you for joining us today. [29:42] Today, we welcome Randy Rubenstein to the show. Randy is the founder of mastermind parenting as well as the host of the long running mastermind parenting podcast. Thank you, Randy for joining us today. Okay, so we'll splice that back [29:53] Randi [00:56] Thanks for having me. Danny [00:58] So start at the top tell us who are you? What do you do? What's your story? How do you come to be doing it? [MX] Marie_Bossa_BB_instrumental_2_52.wav fades to silence. (no break) Randi [01:04] I, so I help parents who have a strong willed kid. And I think a lot of people who have a particularly strong willed kid identify and they know exactly like, you know, I'm talking to you, if you have a really strong willed kid, this goes beyond like the typical two year old meltdowns. And these are the kids that I think quite often kind of leave parents scratching their heads falling through the cracks. And we're searching for the right resource, the right professional. And I came to do what I'm doing. So kind of a long, nonlinear tale. But basically 24, almost 25 years ago, I gave birth to my oldest child, who was one of the strong willed kids, I wouldn't have necessarily known it at the time, he was just the kid who came out sort of unhappy a lot and crying and crying and crying like beyond typical baby crying. And I was just on a hunt for resources. And so I searched and I searched and I searched and ultimately, what I found is now called mastermind parenting. And when I decided to really move forward with mastermind parenting shortly before I started working with ape and he really helped me to fine tune the program. I, I just I realized that I needed to do this because it just felt selfish not to and my husband said to me, like what's, what's your goal here? You know, what's your goal on at the end at that time, I didn't consider myself a business person by any means. And I just said to my husband, you know, I just feel selfish not to share other people who are struggling in the exact way we did. And so I just have to do this thing. I don't know exactly what it is yet. And now, seven, eight years later, I have a thriving program. And we've helped lots and lots of parents and yeah, that's, that's kind of the long and the short of it. Danny [03:17] So tell us how mastermind parenting the ideas became a podcast became a course. Tell us about that development and evolution. Randi [03:27] Okay, so when I, when I started mastermind parenting before I actually trademarked my method and called it mastermind parenting I was doing something called conscious parenting, which really wasn't even a thing yet. It was really, it came from a program called Conscious Discipline that was for teachers. And so I started learning this program Conscious Discipline, I started working with teachers on classroom management, which is just another way to say how to teachers deal with kids when they're having problematic behavior without losing their minds. And, and so and so I was teaching Conscious Discipline, and but really, I wanted to I was incorporating in the classes that I was teaching to parents and then working with teachers. I was incorporating other things, just other things I had learned along the way because I've read so many books I take in different courses. And, and so once and for all kind of decided, You know what, it's not really like I think I need to name this my own thing. And so when I start when I decided to trademark mastermind parenting, now I needed to turn it into a program to teach it to people. And first I wrote a book. And, and so I write, I write this book. And from the book, I really created my very first program and my book is called is called closing the parent gap. So I had this process. It was an eight week. It was an eight week course and I was doing it one on one with people And then I decided, well, you know, an end, and there wasn't enough of me to go around. So I thought, Well, I think I'm going to turn this into a group program. So my very first group program was 25 people. And we did the eight week program. And then I wanted to send them on their way. And then they said, We're not going anywhere. We we have so much more to learn. And we need to dig deeper and all these concepts because the truth is, is I sort of Firehose people with a ton of information as a big nose, because I don't know if you remember, but when I came to you guys, and then when I when a, and your brother Ari held my hand to stop fire hosing people with so much information, we really broke it down into a tweet, we broke it down into a 12 week course. And all the information now has become this series of six programs that spans over the course of an entire year. So I used to, I mean, talk about fire hosing people, I used to fire hose people in eight weeks what now we take people through for a year and many people stay in my, in my program my membership community for more than one year. So really, it takes even more than one year to fully fully master the concepts. And I used to be I was doing this in eight weeks, it was just pretty unrealistic. Danny [06:29] Awesome, Adriana jump in? Abe [06:31] Yeah, I mean, so we know the story ourselves. But for the benefit of folks listening, maybe you could kind of break that down a bit more like what was the journey like to go from having that firehose of information or feeling like you're overwhelming your participants to getting to a better learning design? Like, what did that process Randi Oh my godt Abe look like? And where did you end up? Randi [06:57] You know, it was, it used to be when I was fire hosing all the people, it just required a whole lot of me. Because people come to me, anyone that comes to me, it's like, many people are like, Oh, I should take a parenting class. But really, you don't. You don't commit to taking a parenting class, or I haven't seen many people commit to taking parenting class. Unless it's so bad, because you've got a kid that's really showing up with all these difficult behaviors. So usually, people come to me, they're sleep deprived, there's a lack of boundaries, and Life is stressful, and they're super overwhelmed. And so then when they came to me, and then I'm overwhelming them, because I want to help so badly, I just want to give them all the information. And then I overwhelmed them more. So now I just have all of these people and overwhelmed. So you know, I'm pretty nurturing, and I love what I do. And I really get to know people's stories. And it took so much nurturing for me, because they were they I was overwhelming them more. I was well intentioned. But it just wasn't, it really wasn't me honoring that person's journey. And so when you guys helped me to break it down, what it ended up doing was it allowed people to learn in the way that that humans are designed to learn. And so it's spelled things out, like it's spelled things out. And I think a more concise and consistent way, I started to put in, in integration weeks and accountability assignments and do challenges. So we could, like, you know, build some momentum and give them all those great dopamine hits. And I just learned a lot in terms of how people effectively learn. And, and so what that did was it served my customers better. I mean, it made my life easier, of course, but what I really cared about was I wanted, I wanted my customers to be able to get this information and change their children's lives. And my job to do that was just so much harder when I had a bunch of people in overwhelm. And so I think it made me a much better coach and, and a more effective teacher as well. Abe [09:13] So, for course creators looking do the same thing. So on one hand, you you added components, you're saying you added opportunities for application and integration, rather than just focusing on content [notification]. But I think something some people struggle with is like, Oh, my content is great, right? Randi That’s how I was! Abe How can I ever reduce the scope of my programs? How did you tackle that? Randi [09:37] Yeah Yeah, it's like, I mean, this is such a crass way of putting it but I think I've heard people say, like, you have to decide which babies you're gonna kill. And you're like, but I love all my babies. And that's exactly how I felt. And so I really had And for anybody who has ever taken assessments to figure out how you're wired. I I love the Colby assessment. And so I know that I'm a very high action taker and a very high Fact Finder, and I'm not so great with the follow through and the systematic approach. And, and so it was, it was really difficult for me to think exactly, you know, to decide which of my babies I was going to kill. And so I so you guys really helping me to like hone in on what's the most important piece in this, you know, this week, what would be the most important piece and what would be. And so it really helped me I think, I think just, you know, it's kind of like when we learn to write papers when we're younger, and that old style way of writing a paper, like the five paragraph essay, you know, the whole point of that five paragraph essay is that you're going to give the person you're gonna let them know what you're about to teach them. And then you're gonna have three paragraphs that teach them the thing, and then you're gonna wrap it up. And so it's like, the brain can actually retain that information. And so, essentially, I think that's what that's what I ended up doing was really, you know, you know, following a format that I wasn't overwhelming people anymore. And I was just picking out the most critical things to teach people. And, and really prioritizing doing a better job with the, with the details and the prioritizing. Abe [11:29] What What feedback did you start hearing from people after you made those changes? Randi [11:35] Well, by week three of my program, people started having huge wins. So I was just seeing, you know, which was so exciting for me as a coach and as a teacher, because, you know, people come in, and they're in overwhelm, and you can let them know, Hey, I've got this thing that can really help you. But when it's taking a long time, and they're an overwhelmed, like people are in pain, there's real suffering going on. So, so doing it in this in this more kind of chunked down bite size way that that helps these people to get some wins and to get out of overwhelm and build momentum. Like, they just started having huge shifts quickly. And so by the end of the 12 weeks, I mean, where we are now, you know, we've iterated and iterated several times. But where we are now like, I'm just finishing up with a cohort right now. And like, by week nine, these people were it was like, I mean, it's like, okay, let's clip this for a testimonial. Let's clip this because it was just like, my, I mean, I have a lady right now in week two, and she's like, she had a 14 year old kid who was in total shutdown, week two, she's like, our relationship has completely shifted, like, these tools are life changing. And I wasn't able to do that as effectively before. So now it's just super exciting, because you just see people changing their lives, and then they're propelled to take more action and more action. So it's just, it's, it's a lot of fun. Danny [13:06] Can you share a little bit about kind of what goes on inside the program? I mean, teaching parenting, it's a sensitive and difficult thing to do. Because, you know, kids don't come with instruction manuals, but you know, we're kind of led to believe by society, we should just know how to do this, we should just be good at it. And, you know, any feedback on parenting is often taken very personally. Plus, it's a very soft skill, and you don't see what's going on inside the relationship, which can be very nuanced. So how do you give feedback? I mean, it sounds like it would be challenging on a lot of levels. So how do you tackle that? Randi [13:42] Yeah, it really, I always say like, I think I chose the hardest topic. And I didn't really choose it. It chose me. Because it is I think talking about parenting is even more sensitive than talking about sex or money. People. It's a loaded, it's loaded. And if you have a difficult kid, there, there's a lot of shame. You know, a lot of times parents there, they feel like they're screwing up their biggest, you know, they're their top priority in life. They're worried about their kid. It's super, super sensitive. And what I'll say is is most you know, the, the feedback I hear the most is people saying it's just amazing. There's zero judgment here. So and one of my mom's she's this Texas gal, and she says, I just love the way you Randy Rubinstein you know, how to give someone a spankin and make it feel like a hug. And, like, and, and I think that is, you know, it's like we speak truth, and there's no judgement and I think because I share so much of my experience, and I teach through story, and even share my current experience, like I still have one teenager at home, and he's in the you know, he's 16 Almost 17 is a junior In high school, and he's in the what we call the talk to the hand phase, which you know, and so I love to kind of share these stories, where I'm sharing my own experience, you know, where right now his brother and sister, he's like, oh, I want to watch this thing, or I want to go do this thing. And I, we were camping recently, and, and so he's waiting for like his dad or his brother or sister to be like, Oh, I'll go do that with you. And I'm like, Oh, I'll do that with you. He's like, I'm good. And so I share these experiences, because I think that it lets everyone know, like, I'm still going through it too, there really is no judgment, there is no perfection when it comes to parenting. And most of us, we keep, you know, all of these secrets. And yet, when we come together, and we talk about this stuff openly, well, then we can problem solve, we can realize where were our blind spots. And so I think it just feels like this sense of community. It involves a decent amount of nurturing. But I want people taking action. So I also have to, like, let them see what where they can improve. So it's a it's a dance that I do, but I think because I love what I do, and I love my people so much they feel it and it just feels authentic. And, and so it works. Danny [16:19] How do you define success inside the program? And like, I kind of wonder, you know, for someone going into the program, how do they define success? And is there is there a discrepancy there? Do you need to, you know, while you're educating them and supporting them on changing their behaviors do you also have to, you know, bring them along in terms of refining their expectations of what their relationship with their kid might look like, for example? Randi [16:46] Well, what we do during our integration weeks through, so I take them through my framework, and, and there's four wings of my framework. And so every, so we spend three weeks per wing, right? And so on the third week, I always have them do this report card process. And and this is something I believe I learned from you aid, which is like identifying where were you? Where are you currently? And where are you still going. So I actually have them do a lot of self recording. And, and when they do their accountability assignments in between, I'm always doing something I call it it's corny, I have a lot of corny parts of my program. But but as long as I own that they're corny, everybody kind of seems okay with it. But I pause for applause a lot. And so like, when I read their assignments, or I read their reflections, I make sure because I think most of us, you know, look, we have that human negativity bias, where we're scanning for all the ways we're doing things wrong. And, and so when I take the time to pause for applause, it's like I, at first, it can feel a little cringy for people, because they're not used to applauding for themselves. And so I applaud a lot of times just their self awareness, they're willing to be on to themselves the reflection. And, and I really make a point of doing that a whole lot. Because what I really want to help the person I really want to help them shift from, I'm doing it all wrong to I'm the kind of parent that shows up to do things like this, like this is pretty amazing. And so I really want I want to kind of start to, to improve upon their self talk and their feeling of, of feeling enough and feeling like a good parent, because I'll tell you something, there's not one person that is a bad parent, or a lazy parent who signs up to take a parenting class. And so and so I really do a lot of that in the program. And I think where we start to define success is, it's easy when you're sleep deprived, and you have a kid having chronic meltdowns, and every single day, you're wondering when you're gonna get that phone call from school. And then all of a sudden, you have a kid or kid that doesn't let you kiss them, because they're so shut down and defensive. And then you have a kid that wants to cuddle up and his letting you kiss them. Maybe they're not into letting you kiss them on the lips yet, but they'll let you could have some on the top of the head. And you start to get notes from teachers, and you get to pause for applause for your kids to I mean, it's not hard to define that. I mean, that feels like a huge win for parents. Danny [19:31] Can you tell us a little bit about the business side of of the business? I mean, the different programs like what did they sell for and what does it cost for you to deliver that experience? If you can share about margins, whatever you're comfortable and how do you do your marketing just you know, high level. What are the number pieces to all this? Randi [19:52] Well, one of the areas that I'm currently working on is being a better business owner because I have had what I've had to sell Have limiting belief of, yeah, I just care about the people so much. But I'm, you know, I suck at business. So this is my current area and my current challenge, where I'm really, I'm really sorry, and Danna, you pointed this out to me recently, and an experience where it's not okay to do marketing in a begrudging way. Like, we got to get excited about it. And so I am currently in that process of getting excited about my my marketing, and I've got some new things rolled out rolling out and, and I've actually been fine tuning some of my marketing messaging, hiring some new people to help me with the marketing, something that I, all the people, all the contractors that I've been working with, on my team, from my podcast guy, to the social media, people that helped me with my Instagram, and Facebook. And in my project manager, they're all story brand guides. And so I adhere to that form of marketing. So I've liked kind of bringing all that alignment together, I have two offerings, I've got a self study, really, it's for my, for the, for our beginning, 12 week program, where I teach my framework to transform strong willed kids, okay, so here's the framework, you come to me, and you're like, my kid is doing XY and Z. And I'm like, I'm gonna teach you the framework to help turn this strong will around and to teach them the skills that are actually the reason they're lacking skills. And that's the reason they're acting out like this. So I help parents to shift in how they see this strong will. And they actually start to see it, as the kid is really just asking for you to help them to learn some new skills to feel better in their body to self regulate. So we have this framework, you can learn in either in our self study program, which is called mini masters. And it's almost all the materials, you just do it in a self paced way. And then we have our hybrid coaching program, which is a hybrid between, it's group coaching, it's personalized coaching. And it's where we really study the content together, we have group coaching calls, we use something called Voxer as a way to give people sort of like, like, coaching, outside of the coaching calls, which many of our parents really love, because a lot of our our parents are busy working parents, they are running their own businesses, I have a lot of female physicians in my program. And so it's really helpful because they're able to get that coaching on boxer about their specific scenario. And and so for the mini masters, it's $49 a month, I believe, yes, $49 a month, and it's month to month. And then our basics bootcamp 12 week, coaching program to learn the nice framework is 1997. And then when we run it as a group, where I, where I enroll cohorts together after we do like a challenge week or something like that. We we do it for 1497. And then, after our boot camp program, after they go through our boot camp program, then they're invited to join our mastermind to go through the rest of our programs and to join our mastermind. It's 1997 for the year. And so, so are our customers every year that they that they sign up again and again. It's 1997 per year. I know there were more questions there about my margins and things like that. I don't Yeah, I don't I can't, I can't tell you off the top of my head about that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. Abe [23:55] So what's next? Do you have any directions that you want to go in? Or what are the big ideas percolating up for you? Randi [24:03] So the big ideas right now are that I really, I'm, I really want to hit Facebook ads. I did Facebook ads, I ran some Facebook ads a couple years ago. I didn't have any success with it, I gave up. And I've kind of been that classic person where I would do a launch. And then instead of iterating on the launch, I would just be like, that was hard. It was awful. I'm done. And and over this last year, we've gotten much more consistent with doing our launches. So right now we're cleaning up our messaging our next launch. We're we're going to be enrolling our next cohort is going to be in April. And so we're about to start right now. We're, we're, you know, putting everything together to run some Facebook ads, and really adding to our mailing list, creating some new lead generators. So I've been working on that a lot and I Uh, and yeah, I hope to just start doing a better job spreading the word so that we can, you know, just get more of those discovery calls on the on the calendar and easily fill our groups. Abe [25:16] Nice visitor Randi [25:23] Yeah, so that so right now I'm really just iterating I'm mostly iterating I mean, you know, look, I am a little bit of a content creating horror, like, that's my love, and I, I can't help myself. So right now I'm rolling it, you know, I've been rolling out this new program that is within my membership community. I mean, that's the reason people stick around for years, because they it's a parenting program, but it's really parenting slash personal development. And, and so whatever it is I'm into, and I'm learning, I usually create a program and then I have all these people raising their hands that are just kind of up for it. I mean, I have people that have been in for six years. So So, so I, yeah, so so I'm just kind of iterating right now, and just trying to do a better job at on the marketing aspect and spreading the word and filling our groups [26:18] Abe [29:03] Awesome. Thank you. Danny [29:05] That was great. Thank you so much. Randi [29:07] You're welcome. [MX] Dresden_The_Flamingo_Coo_Coos_instrumental_2_16.wav begins ducked low, beneath the read-out. No break Abe [29:56] Randi Rubinstein is the founder of mastermind parenting host of the master My parenting podcast and author of the parent gap. You can check out everything she's got to offer over at mastermind. parenting.com That's mastermind parenting.com Randi [30:14] Thanks, guys. Thanks for having me! [MX] Dresden_The_Flamingo_Coo_Coos_instrumental_2_16.wav plays at full volume for 3 second break, and then ducks low beneath the transition. This section uses the “part 2” audio files for each speaker. Danny [00:05] Now stick around for my favorite part of the show where even I will pull out the best takeaways for you to apply to your course. [MX] Dresden_The_Flamingo_Coo_Coos_instrumental_2_16.wav continues playing at LOW volume for 1-2 second break as it fades into silence
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 [MX] Shimmer_Grace_instrumental_4_12.wav. The opening of this music is very distinctive, so let it complete (about 7-8 seconds) at full volume before ducking. Grace fades under “ and repeat in different forums, because it's so so critical” Danny Hey, where should we begin? Abe [00:14] Well, let's say that I guess a critical part of coaching is repetition. And so, you know, we had a bit of that here, like something we've talked about in a few different contexts. But we'll continue to talk about and repeat in different forums, because it's so so critical, is that having an effective online course or learning program isn't just about or even primarily about your content. And that continues to be, I think, counterintuitive for people. And we continue to see that people naturally tend to create courses that are overloaded with content, as always, with the best of intentions, right, they're not doing it to overwhelm people on purpose. They're doing it to try and be generous and to help their participants in every way that they can. But paradoxically, it winds up actually slowing people down and preventing them from learning effectively. And this is something that Randy had learned the hard way, but fortunately, was able to pivot and adapt and dramatically improve our program to shift it from being content centric, to being really learner centric and participation centric. And so that core message, we've talked about it in, in different ways in different contexts, but it is, I would say, one of, if not the most fundamental takeaways that I help people get from this show. Danny [01:51] Yeah, absolutely. It's the the accordion thing of the length of the course, from, you know, eight weeks to over a year for I mean, the same content. But the operative question is not, how long do I need to explain this? It's how long do they need to understand it, and master it and do with it what they want to do? It's a little bit like, you know, if someone asks the question, how long does it take to write a book, you can say, well, I can type 100 words a minute, the book is 30,000 words, or 60,000 words. So just divide one by the other. And that should tell you, but obviously, it's not just about how quickly could you mechanically type the book, it's about coming up with the ideas and organizing them and writing and rewriting everything that goes into that. And so in much the same way, it's like, it's not about how long will it take for me to just say the things that explain the ideas, it's like, what will it take for you to internalize them for you to try them, feel them out? course correct along the way to really get it right, et cetera. So I thought that was really well illustrated by literally, you know, from eight weeks to over a year. Abe [02:58] Yeah. wanted it. The other takeaway from Ray's experiences, that iteration and improvement, it doesn't have to be a challenge or a negative for your business model. In some cases, it could actually unlock possibilities for your business that you had never thought of before. And, you know, Randy has gotten to a place where not only is she helping people in a more effective learning design. But her whole suite of offerings is actually like much more revenue generating and profitable than it was before. Danny [03:37] Up until that point, I also appreciated the what she shared about her journey that she's still on, about, you know, being an entrepreneur being a business person being a marketer, in particular, and being still very much a work in progress in those things. As you know, honestly, we all are. There's always room to get better. But that hasn't held her back from getting to where she is she's already got a very successful, thriving business. And so there's no reason to be like, You know what, I don't have those skills yet. I'm not ready yet. You always work with what you've got, and move forward from there. So I thought that was that was a great thing to take away as well. Abe [04:17] Yeah. I mean, it's always a process of iteration and discovery, right? For some reason, I guess. Maybe because in some ways, a core seems like a project, like a book, right, that has an endpoint, that it's this product that you produce and put on the shelf and it's done. And I can understand the desire to have that sense of completion. But the best courses are, they're just living projects that continuously grow and develop and improve over time. That's kind of what makes courses so much more powerful than a book or other like static, you know, forms of of information dissemination and And learning to think the opportunity is to really embrace that like Don't think of your course as a product think of it as this is a system that you're continually improving over time. Danny [05:11] And when you say best course I mean best in terms of the transformation they deliver and how well put together they are but also just in terms of those tend to be the most profitable ones right Abe Mhm Danny Alright that's great. [MX] Chelsea_McGough_Carousel_Lights_instrumental_1_38.wav begins at 00:00, rises to full volume for 2-3 seconds, and then ducks beneath the entire length of the credits. Danny That's what I've got in my notes. Do you undo the readout? [05:34] Abe [05:59] Thank you for listening to course lab I made crystal co founder and CEO of residual here within e founder and CEO of mercy. Of course lab is part of the Mercy FM Podcast Network, which also includes such shows as to lead as human and just between coaches. This episode of course lab was produced by Cynthia Lam Jeff governance and assembled the episode did he is our executive producer post production by post office out. Another big thanks to Randy Rubenstein for coming onto the show today. Remember, you can learn more about her and her upcoming coach week over at mastermind parenting.com. Remember, you can learn more about her and your work over at mastermind parenting.com to make sure you don't miss the excellent episodes coming up on horse lab. Follow us on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening right now. Did you enjoy today's show? If you did go ahead and leave us a star review. It really does make a difference. Thank you and we'll see you next time. [MX] Chelsea_McGough_Carousel_Lights_instrumental_1_38.wav plays at full volume for 3 seconds, then fades to complete silence for 2 seconds (to allow for the dynamic ad), then rises again for 2 or so seconds and then begins to fade to silence. This section uses the “part 1” audio files for each speaker. Abe [29:16] Is it Rubenstein or Rubenstein? Randi [29:20] It’s actually Rubenstein but you can say stein Abe [laughs] Danny [29:29] So it’s Rubenstein? [SFX] Mirasee final sig sound (10707_SFX).wav. - - - - - - - - - -